Martin Andrew Salinis
Born 9-25-1948
In Detroit, Michigan
Died 10-11-2005
In Shelby Township, Michigan
“You my Sweetie?”
“Always!”
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Marty and I lived in the same city, and went to the same schools, I knew who he was in high school, the first time I talked to him was when I was fourteen before he went into the Navy. A year later I met his brother, Dave, and decided to date him because I knew two of his brothers and a sister. Three years later Dave and I were best man and maid of honor at Marty’s first marriage. A few months later Dave and I were married, I was eighteen, he was twenty-four. The four of us hung out together for many years, he had two children with Candy, and Dave and I had one son. Soon after our children were born we all were divorced.
Four years later I had some plumbing problems and called another brother of Marty’s to help, he sent over Marty instead. Marty wanted to move out of his brothers house and asked if he could rent my extra room until his apartment was finished being built. We lived together for six months with no physical contact, but lots of talking and doing things together with our kids.
After his apartment was ready he moved out, but we kept finding reasons to see each other, for the kids to play, mail, ect…
One day the ex, Dave stopped over while we were together talking, he said “Hey, what’s going on with you two?” That was the first time I realized that something was “going on”. We discussed this, and admitted we had strong feelings for each other. Time when on and we developed a physical relationship as well. We were married on July 3rd 1981, and had two daughters, Leeanne, and Tessa.
We have a unique family; all have the same last name, and generally the same genes, as they were cousins before they were brothers and sisters. We raised all five of them, and they have never felt like they were steps, they are true brother and sisters.
We may have been only married for twenty-four years, but we were family for thirty seven years.
Marty was one of 9 children; he had 5 kids, and 7 grandkids.
He was a fireman in the Navy during the Vietnam era.
He worked for 30 years at Ford Motor Company, and had to retire due to his illness. He was diagnosed with Chronic Lymphocyte Leukemia in 2001. He retired on a Friday and started chemotherapy on a Monday.
He loved to ride his 1985 Harley, and we went on many road trips together.
Marty was described by his fellow Autoworkers as a rarity in a factory, he was a gentleman, and kind and helpful to everyone. People were at first intimidated by his appearance, but he was a teddy bear.
He was self taught on computers, and maintained, repaired and built computers for many people.
In 2003 he had several chemo treatments, and almost died, but came out of it to the surprise of his doctor. He spent two years in remission, and was getting ready for a stem cell transplant in March of this year.
In April I got a check up to make sure I was healthy, as he would soon have no immune system. My reports came back abnormal, all my counts were elevated, and they didn’t know why. Also I developed, as did Marty, a sore throat, cough, swollen spleen and liver. We both had swollen nodes in our necks, and our white counts went up. The fatigue for me was debilitating, Marty less so. At the time I had been undergoing testing for multiple sclerosis for 2 months, and was told I had chronic fatigue.
I told his Hematology oncologist that we had the same symptoms and showed her my blood tests. She told me what I had wasn’t related to what he had. I told her three times, but she wouldn’t listen. She continued to give him intensive inpatient chemo for 4-6 days once a month. Before the fifth chemo treatment my neurologist tested me for Epstein Barr virus, he called me and told me I had Chronic Epstein Barr. I sent this report to his doctor, she had her secretary call and say this just meant that I had had chicken pox as a child. I told her again at his next appointment that this isn’t what it meant, and wanted her to test him. She just said why he would show positive like 95% of the population. Then she said that people over forty don’t get mono, and husbands and wives wouldn’t infect each other, because they are in close contact. She failed to realize that his immune system had been destroyed. A year prior he had developed chicken pox after kissing his mother who had shingles, he had had chicken pox as a child, but got it again. She proceeded to give him another chemo treatment, and he was continuing down hill.
Shortly after he had this last treatment he was scheduled for all his testing to prepare for the stem cell transplant, due to start in 2 weeks. The next day he was readmitted do to a fever from an infected port in his arm. In the hospital the staff doctors listened to me and tested him for EVB, he had recently had it. They told me the worst thing you could do is administer chemo to someone with mono, and asked why he wasn’t tested sooner. I tried my best; I don’t know what else I could have done. He continued to go down hill. His main problem was due to hemolytic anemia, which can be caused by EVB, his spleen protruded from his abdomen by this time. His blood counts were so low; they couldn’t transfuse him fast enough. We finally decided to bring him home, and would take him in as an outpatient for transfusions. He died on a Tuesday in the night, at 2:26 A.M. with me cuddled up next to him, in our own bed, whispering in his ear about our life together. It was the worst, yet most precious moment in my life.
His doctor had stepped aside and turned his case over to a colleague three weeks before his death. Did she realize that she was wrong? Doctors kept telling me I was not contagious, but I don’t believe it, I don’t think they even know. This isn’t a silly child’s kissing disease, it is deadly.
Patricia A. Salinis
